Two Hateful Words

By Tim Holland

It seems to me that over the years the public tends to use words, inadvertently, that convey unintended meanings, or at least I am hopeful enough to believe them to be inadvertent and unintended. Certainly the use of “code” words have had an extensive development ever since it became desirable and politically correct to express oneself with seemingly “neutral” words rather than overtly insensitive ones, as a way of still getting the opinion out yet not seeming to offend (except, of course, that the people being offended are always aware of it). These are not words that fall into that category but ones that seem to be more innocent.

For the first word I am indebted to poet Carl Sandburg. As a master of words writing during the first half of the twentieth century, he immediately saw it for what it was and believed it to be one of the most divisive words in the English language.

When one thinks carefully about the word “exclusive” you can see what Sandburg disliked: the word gives voice to the “I’m better than you” thought that is the basis for social disorder worldwide. Here we find the underpinnings for claims of racial superiority, class warfare, religious persecution. There are many who use the word to denote economic status. Living in an exclusive neighborhood is often equated with living in an expensive one - the rich and famous preferring to live among their own kind. There are a good many gradations on the exclusive neighborhood theme and not all of them are as innocent as they protest to be. The very nature of the word means to “shut or keep out from a place, group, privilege.” Admittedly, in the 1920s and 30s the use of the word “exclusive” had a much more sinister connotation to it but today’s usage hasn’t changed its meaning: to exclude, to create a preference for one group of people over another. It would be very rare in this day and age, where inclusiveness is a stated objective, to find a valid use for the word exclusive yet it is still out there.

For the second word I am indebted to Jon Meacham of Newsweek. He opened my eyes and ears to the word “tolerance” and how it may have evolved into a “code” word.

It is very common to hear the words “racial tolerance,” “religious tolerance,” etc. Here again we run smack up against the superiority issue. The word “tolerance” at its heart is the concept of permission. To tolerate simply means to permit something to occur, usually something that is objectionable to the tolerator - and there’s the key. It’s a sneaky word. By one saying: I am in favor of racial/religious/etc. tolerance, are they really saying “I’m willing to put up with you and your actions and beliefs although I find them objectionable.” Think carefully what it really means to say: “We are a tolerant society.” Are we really saying that as a society we are putting up with a lot of “stuff” that we really don’t agree with and are reserving the option to reassert restrictions should we so choose. I don’t think that’s what the framers of the Constitution had in mind. In all fairness, there are many people and institutions that use the word without really understanding what it is they are saying to the people or group they are tolerating. I’ve learned to equate it with the phrase “win - win” having learned over time that the person proposing “win - win” really means “WIN - win.” It’s a bit like trying to find a small package of anything. When visiting a Starbuck’s I’ve taken to ordering a “small” coffee rather than a “tall” one - just to be accurate.

So in the new year it might be a welcome approach to try to eliminate the “exclusive” concept and possibly have more distinctive ones. Anyone can live in a distinctive neighborhood but I don’t think I want to live in an exclusive one. For “tolerance” why not, as Jon Meacham suggests, go back to the original idea of freedom. After all, the United States was founded on the concept of religious freedom not religious tolerance; racial freedom came a bit later but it was freedom and not tolerance. Freedom and tolerance are not synonyms.